Exploring Transference: How Your Past Shapes Your Energy Field and Your Present Reactions in Body, Mind and Spirit
WHAT SUBTLE ECHOES FROM YOUR HISTORY RESONATE IN YOUR PRESENT?
It’s 1998 and I’m in my third year at the four-year energy healing college, the Barbara Brennan School of Healing (BBSH) I attended in New York. The school was founded by world-renowned healer, teacher, former NASA physicist, and best-selling author, Dr. Barbara Brennan pictured with me here.
I had gotten back my homework assignment and very few of my skills were checked as “pass” and I received the feedback “we need to see more of you, you’re hiding.”
I glanced at a classmate’s feedback form and she had clearly done a better job than I, with a bunch of checkmarks in the “pass” column. At this school, the next step was to receive the dreaded “letter” for improvement, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs.
What I signed up for at the BBSH was not only learning the technical skills to be a proficient energy healer, but to heal my own wounds so I could be a clear conduit for energy to pass through me and into my clients. One requirement was all the students had to be in therapy and if our therapist wasn’t doing their job (our instructors could tell) we’d have to find a new therapist.
So here I was with a week to pass a bunch of psychological skills.
I was up for the challenge and ready to surrender to experience and learn from what the rest the week had in store for me.
I was approached by a classmate who knew that I’d been taking classes in comedy and improv and she asked me to join the class skit, I said “ok” and she told me the location and the time all the “actors” were to meet. There were over 250 people in my junior class and I subconsciously found something else to keep me from attending that meeting and another “actor” was chosen to take my place. I was still in hiding.
Later as a class, we went through an experiential exercise that I’ll never forget.
We talked about the concept of “transference” and how, if someone reminds us of our sister, for example, who we really like, then we automatically like that person. Some experts say we’re in transference 90% of the time and we’re continually relating to the world as early relational objects from childhood. We then walked around this huge hotel ballroom we met in and when we passed someone, we’d tell them who they reminded us of. I was blown away that everyone I passed reminded me of someone from 8th grade. Holy shizzle! I hated 8th grade!! I switched schools in the middle of the year I hated it so much. UGH!!
It’s the last day of my energy healing week and we’re at the class closing. I literally have minutes to pass my skills. I get in front of everyone, all 250+ students and teachers, grab the microphone and I come out of hiding. I tell my story. I talk about the effect the transference exercise had on me. I tell everyone how when I was in 8th grade I was well-liked and popular. One day I gossiped about two of my friends to each other. They compared notes and I came to school the next day and well, the inevitable happened, I had zero friends (aside from that one friend who really sticks by you) and I wound up having to switch schools to save my own mental health.
In telling this story to a group of healers, the most amazing thing happened.
My heart broke and I had to set the microphone down while I cried as the healing energy rushed into my body. It was instantaneous. What was even more fascinating was when I stopped crying and I looked around at these 250+ faces they looked different. Colors were brighter and features were more detailed. People in the crowd waved to me and I stood there and waved back and smiled through my tear-stained face. I could see my instructors checking off my skills and passing me. It was a glorious day of healing.
Speaking of healing, the tragic death of Sinead O’Connor (aka Shuhada Sadaqat), in July came as a blow to many, myself included. She was one of my she-roes and as an energy healer and university instructor her songs “The Healing Room,”“Thank You for Hearing Me,”“Black Boys on Mopeds,”“Daddy I’m Fine,” and “No Man’s Woman” were often played when working with my clients and students.
Her “chutzpah” – the Yiddish word for “guts” and courage were admirable. Her voice was a combination of angelic, powerful, and well, in more than just my opinion, one of the best- ever. For all my energy healing colleagues and clients.